Saturday 5 June 2010

It’s dark and I’m taking commonly used shortcuts to seem like I don’t care that it

Is

Dark

And I don’t allow the capitals and the unmeant capitalization of my words to deter me from

Whhhhhhhhhhatever it is that I needed to think

Shrill trumpets without S’s do the work for me, they think for me

Shrill trumpets that make me think of dancing feet beneath a piano holding on to a kind eyed japanese man that I doubt I’ll ever top

I called you, or I didn’t call you but I used the thing that I use to call you to speak to you and you didn’t respond or haven’t responded yet and I’m not sure that it matters

Because the trumpet is just there, and a cool cat on a windowsill is just there and it

Is

Dark

What’s wrong? Is it loneliness or boredom or is it loneliness and boredom or is it the lack of everything but loneliness and boredom or is it that I can’t seem to get away from this loneliness and boredom and I keep wanting to spell it with a Y but I know it’s not right.

You is still there, and the trumpet is now a ssssaxaphone. And a period and a sentence started with and.

I know you’ll get it

I know you’ll get that you don’t have to get it and I know my words are short and somewhat meaningless but I just have to get have to keep getting have to just get out of this loneliness and boredom

A flourish

Or just a spurt

Spurt isn’t “poetic enough” and neither are quotation marks. Do they call them quotation marks in this country? What country am I in? and why is it so dark, and why haven’t you called back, and why do I care?

This is a moment, but I want to forget it.

This is a moment too, but I want you to remember it.

I miss you. Even when you’re here. You. Me. you is eye.

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