Tuesday, 23 November 2010

the tower

on the first level, you are sitting on a council couch, reading late articles about recreational equine sedatives, scoffing at their lack of relevance

on the second you are dancing, two bodies in front of me, dipping to terrestrial lines, anchored in faith

on the fourth you are a tailor, sewing flannel patches into a pair of beige trousers that I tore on my bike

on the seventh, you are a voice, tied to a string that I cast out into an electrical storm, you are my genius

on the sixth, you are a staircase, from the seventh, to the fifth

on the fifth you are the number three, and I cannot erase you from my mind

on the eighth and ninth, you are empty spaces on a calendar that I'll never bother to own, waiting to be filled with roast dinners and rolled cigarettes

on the tenth, my head is light and you are looking at me, looking at me, looking at me

on the eleventh, I lay down beneath you

on the twelfth, you are a cherry dresser, with round knobs and lacquered drawers.

on the thirteenth, you are descending

on the fourteenth you are gossamer, and my arms an unworthy loom, too jagged and splintered to hold your delicate threads.

on the fifteenth I am drowning, and you are the last gulp of air that I took

on the sixteenth, you are the truth, and I am the destroyer. I eat your heart with both hands, my face so splattered with blood that I cannot see how you are dying with each bite. I am so caught with gore and nihilism that I cannot see how large your wound, or how much you've bled into my mouth.

in the cellar, there is a table, a lamp, a picture of you, and a bottle. the walls are stone and the floor stinks of reality. I can either be drunk and in darkness, or fuel the lamp, so that I might see your face.

Monday, 15 November 2010

yay for pills

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Wednesday, 10 November 2010

"the tangible aspects of the concept of nothing" by nicolas babbington and joseph stohlman

alone amid a night of sweet sincerity
I wonder how such silence could have voice to me

it not, it without, these words. these words. behind the all shadow of all. the non finite. if all is. this.

the idle times in my existence,
survive with a voice,
the shadow of all drinking deep in times of no resistance

the dried rotten edges of glowing all dive into
small
fetid pits, outlined by
the upright diagonal, spaced with

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

during the fall, at night

and as I walk these colonial streets
careful not to step on dead leaves
wanting to be part of the silent and calm
inobtrusive to the night
as it breathes cold into the streets of new england
it is the warm hum of a passing bus
the golden halo
yellow and orange
dark and
scattered molt of summers burn
the painful warmth of
sheltered hands
fear the night
fear the night
the cold can kill and
fear the night
fear the night
the cold can kill
I have walked from brighton center
to mt. auburn hospital
refusing faith in
acronyms
my hands burnt with fall presence as I fell forward
through the inevitable
but the cool dying air around me
couldn't be screamed at
we can only curse at it under shallow, shivering
breathes
as it chokes our bitter throats
fear the night
fear the night
the cold can kill and

Friday, 29 October 2010

while I gaze from an electronic window

ancient lines made with contemporary

beauty aids

beautiful children, in ways of

untouched wildness

cracked mudded stick woven

quiet noises silent fingers

lines of age and knowledge movements of

knowing

movements of

knowing movements of

knowing from long ago the

movements of old knowledge and

growing community the patterns of

growing knowledge of movement and

history growing movements towards knowledge

and movement

of growing historical knowledge

marching bright colors as a penance to the angry gods of

spellcheck,

tribalism and beautiful curiosity of horrible social science

dances of reality, of making form from

the red brown clay beneath our feet

pierced pink and white flocks of migratory fluidity.

the power of changed perspective and flowing

crashing and bounding down lush green cliffs collecting in

ambient pools of stuttered prediction

the filtered light of obliterated river

sending the all into a spectrum of our sight

mirrored pools dotted with the remains of flight

an endless everywhere stretching for longer than I'd want to travel

and the tree

the fractal totems of natural beauty

they who catch wind and give perspective to travelers of the world

who demand odes and scream when severed

and who's torn flesh shelters us and who's blood we pour on our pancakes

screaming saws tiny life

cracking ringing crashing

crashing

connection with the all in his eyes

the implosion of sense

the scarred caverns of human wound

implications of shared thought


Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Riding through the desert with HST and GS

We're doing 120 and doc turns to me and says

"you seem uncomfortable, here."
he shoves an orange pill in my mouth and I turn to stein

she seems amused, and smiles, her eyes drooping

"what did you give her?"

"Nothing, she's been drinking absinth the whole time"

the desert is the perfect place to drive, just as I had imagined

the blurred definition of the horizon beckons us forward, towards nowhere

"These bastards won't catch us in this rocket ship, we've got too much power"

"yeah man, cosmic power" I say, doc looks at me and frowns

"What are you blabbering about, you maniac?"
"Have you read tender buttons?"

it's the fifteenth time she's asked us in the last hour

"Yes, I loved it." I say

"No" doc says and takes a swig of the rot gutt he's been keeping in his lap.

"here, drink this, it'll calm you down."

whiskey never really calmed me down, but I guess I should trust him

I drink deep gulps of fire, ignoring the fact that I thought I was being relatively calm already.

"Have I told you about Fitzgeralds drinking problem?"

"Yes" me and doc answer

"savages..." doc mutters, I can tell something is bothering him.

"what's up, doc?"

"Do I look like that cartoon rabbit?"

"man I don't even know right now, what the hell did you give me?"
"what color was it?"

"blue."

"blue, the doctrine of, docking above the melancholy dock of blue things..."

"Will you shut the fuck up!" Doc pulls a cannon out of his jacket and points it at stein, never taking his foot off the gas.

stein looks at him, calm as ever, and he lowers his pistol.

"You'd be a much better writer if you let go of some of that anger."

"I'll let you go in a minute, you old wench."

"Hah, you're just used to women bending to your will, you cantankerous stoner."
I can't take it anymore

"Will both of you shut up! you're totally harshing my mellow."

Stein looks apologetic and doc just turns around and continues driving

"I'm sorry, joe, it's just that we've both been dead for a little while now. you should probably be looking at the road."

"I thought that being near you two would be this amazing thing, this amazing adventure, but you've spent the entire time just being cartoons of yourselves."

"I'm sorry, it's just that we've been dead."

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have involved you in my depravity." doc says finally.

"It's ok, lets just drive, we'll get there eventually."

the car moves from warp 5 to a steady century, and the sky grows darker.

Stein chuckles, and looks up.

"Have you read tender buttons?"

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

a failure in deconstruction

i've been EDITING nonsense for so long

i've been editing nonsense FOR so long

i've been editing NONSENSE for so long

I'VE been editing nonsense for so long

i've BEEN editing nonsense for so long

i've been editing nonsense for so LONG

eDiting for nonsENSE i've been long

ediTINg for nonsense i'vE been long

editing fOR nonsense i've been long

editing for NONsense i've bEen long

edIting for nonsense i've been lONg

denSE Tine or none ion

dense tine Or None ion

dense tine or nONE ion

dense tine or none Ion

seT On oNE i

set oN One i

sEt On oNe i

toNE nO eoN

TOne no Eon

NEon Toe

NET


and in the end, I was lost.